Spooky & So

So what now? I imagined this blog to be a bit more productive on my part. This month has been too stress filled for me to fully enjoy it. Perhaps it's how every month will be. Nevertheless, I'll still try to post as often as possible. Despite being 4 days behind, I find it's easier for me to not make up for missed days. This prewritten poem is about freedom of the self, as through letting go of one's expectations. For me, self release is somewhat difficult. Still ~You can see You can see a person inside trying to be free ~It may seem It may seem Traveled a million miles, you & me ~I am lost. With a map, I have no compass but I'm trying to get back. ~It was so scary. Finding truth. But is it harder than to tell you? ~If it was yesterday. If I fell flat Would have been a guilty ride to admit that. ~It may seem It may seem the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. ~But I am still I am still I am still tryin

Triumph or trying Am I in real victory over what I feel? Or do my attempts to "feel my feelings" make more progress towards real happiness?  Distinct? One thing I can not say, can not say, I can not say One thing I can not say , I won't be this way forever A thing I can't deny, no can't deny is you Nothing I would ever try, no never deny the truth For better or for worse, I'm here as I am I'm different & strange, but I find my own plans You've got a view & that's nice / I've got new feels I'm in disguise Written October 19th

 The repair & break cycle It feels like I'm in a cycle of repairing myself, only to come back broken. I don't know how to fix it, but I suppose that's the whole point of writing.  I have to keep asking myself, what do I want?  Unfortunately, it's a lot more difficult the answer that I'd expected. Rambling 5 "I broke it again," he said "and this time not the last." Stumbled over from despair, he crawled up again. "It'll come back, but I'll break it again."It seemed like nothing was gonna change; the routine was week in - week out."If I disregard & not care; if I could manage. I need someone or something to hold me on." Written October 18th