Spooky & So

 The repair & break cycle It feels like I'm in a cycle of repairing myself, only to come back broken. I don't know how to fix it, but I suppose that's the whole point of writing.  I have to keep asking myself, what do I want?  Unfortunately, it's a lot more difficult the answer that I'd expected. Rambling 5 "I broke it again," he said "and this time not the last." Stumbled over from despair, he crawled up again. "It'll come back, but I'll break it again."It seemed like nothing was gonna change; the routine was week in - week out."If I disregard & not care; if I could manage. I need someone or something to hold me on." Written October 18th

A want of passage I go on & on & on about self-discovery but I never ask myself, "What do I want?" Perhaps I've just never had to time, or maybe I've been too scared to find out. I realize though, that my likes & the things I want aren't too distinct from what most other people of my generation want. Rambling 4 What do I want to do with myself? Well, what do I want now? I want peace w/o stress, & I want self-discovery I want to go back to a "ritual"", of yoga & time for myself despite homework. I want to be loved in a way that I don't have to second guess myself, as so I can be aware I want emotional intelligence so I can stop jumping to zephyrous conclusions. However, I don't know what I need. Written October 12th

What we learn This prewritten rambling was composed in May of 2016. This one is a bit more personal, having been written when I was in a depressive-mimicking state. I no longer feel these things here & realize how much I've learned since this period of my life. Rambling 3 I am not strong. I am very weak in the mind & very sensitive. I am not a fighter. My own self-worth & worth decided by others only correlates to what I can do to help others, which is not much. I spend most of my time being lazy, & I often forget that I have things I should do. I only dream about my want, not go after them as I should. I am a big baby that shouldn't ever try to go after my wants. I do not deserve or should even think about having the self-love that so few of my peers have. I don't have anything worthful to do or anything that would help others. I am weak & desperate for attention. I want things that I don't deserve. I ask for too much in a world that can o...

Human emotion is universal  I'm not a psychologist; I don't study how we are as a species. I do however form beliefs from my experiences. I think this is something we all do, as to try & better understand the world & those around us. Diving into this, I believe human emotion is universal. Basically, the principle feelings one has (happiness, anger, sadness, etc.) are reflected in those around them. Of course, what causes these emotions will vary by culture & background. That being said, I don't know any other thing about emotion. Rambling 2  So what is, or why is it that too many people desire love but fail to seek it? Even I, but like most, have valid reasons as to why I don't go looking for someone.   It seems as though people skip one of the most important parts of love: regarding one self. I know it's not easy, but who am I to dislike others for their destructive behaviors. I wish I could help people, but I'm not emotionally intelligen...

A policy of devotion to oneself...  As a rule, I can never be without my headphones. My $20 Skull-Candy earbuds, bought from Target in late June. These little objects let me be me, but if they were to break, I'd be greatly upset as it seems so stupid that basically an asset of myself is torn; with no one to blame but myself. I know how impractical it is to let such a tiny instrument ruin my day. I feel as though this behavior (ultimately, of self-destruction) can be solved by higher self-praise, or even devotion. Perhaps this rambling is an ode to that autonomy. Rambling 1  "I'm looking aren't I?" I tested, but no one was listening. Not since I revealed truth to what the motives of the government were. Nobody need another reason to get angry, especially if it was towards the hand that fed them. But I've seen it all. People want a reward; a prize for not doing no' thing at all but simply standing there. It's not like you had to rush in ...